Saturday, September 8, 2012

Don't Worry We Will Get Married ....

I've been sorting out where all the fun started and it's become abundantly clear ...

It all started when I met *HIM* at a bar in the city. He was wearing his Z Cavarriccis (sp) and a black t shirt. He was at the club dancing on the stage and was doing some kind of MC Hammer thing. I saw his ass and was immediately in love. We met. We chatted. We traded phone numbers and the games began.

He was a stud tall dark and handsome. A perfect candidate for forever.  Lived with mom and dad had no car no job and no education. He told me he was a CPA when we met. That was a *story* soon forgotten. He was a great storyteller.

He was aloof. He was selfish. He was a bad boy. And he was unattainable. A Perfect Storm. I was an Italian daughter, with a strict father, and the hymen intact. I had just started to learn what heavy petting meant at 21 y o. We went on one date, he kissed me, I went inside and told my Mom we were going to get married. My mom said "I know" and started crying. My Mom is very intuitive.

Fast forward 6 mos. We had sex on the beach around my bday. I didn't have to worry though because he said he was sterile, from when he used to take steroids. I'd say his penis shrunk, but he was definitely fertile. I was having a baby. I called him after taking the test and said ... Hey I'm pregnant. He said something like "really? Don't worry we will get married" the guy with no job no money and no car said don't worry we will get married. I was the luckiest girl in the world. Now to tell Dad.

Dad said about two things .1.. You can get married or you can have an abortion. 2 where exa
ctly did this happen? Both equally disturbing things to say.

So shotgun outdoor wedding 2 weeks later. Pretty dress, wonderful food, beautiful decor, the family is there, the judge is there, the bride is ready and it's time to go. It starts raining ... Hard. Good thing because prince charming was running late. He lost his (empty) wallet.  He is 1 hr late ... He updates me ... I lost my keys .... He is 2 hours late ... Can't find wallet or keys ....3 hours late he shows up ....with the best man .... 3 sheets to the wind. Apparently the gay best man was delaying his arrival trying to talk sense into him. See he didn't know the whole thing was grooms plan to get girl pregnant and immediately move up in the world.  That some role reversal huh. It didn't stop there either.

Dad did say something that was full of wisdom ... It was " baby girl you don't have to do this" when prince charming was a couple hours late for the wedding. Well I couldn't not do it .... We already had the food, cake, and guests. WHY DIDN'T THE GUESTS OBJECT ?

Incidentally the day of the ceremony the guy I was dating before prince charming who was away at college came to town asking where I was. Sis told him I was getting married and he cried and said he wanted to marry me. Yea no big loss he was an architect with a job a car a plan and money with a very big .... That I also loved. That's another story. 

Needless to say 11 years later, 3 beautiful children, and a mentally ill physically unfit train wreck of a husband and relationship .Verbal and physical abuse, horrible sex every night, i mean the big o 5 times in 11 years, quicker then wham bam thank you mam Ended in divorce. He got the house the money the car and all of the belongings in the houses  did I mention he probably worked 6 mos out of the year while I worked full time and even on 3rd shift took care of the kids 
while he never lifted a finger. I worked all night and then stayed up all day with kids. I slept 3 hours a day for over a year. 

Moral of the story. Don't date anyone you wouldn't marry. You sleep with dogs you get fleas. You lie with pigs you get dirty. Good looks don't pay the mortgage. And so on and so on and so on ,,, 

So... In hindsight I should have seen the signs and run away  ...

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